Mac: I want my 35 cents back. Charlie, give him the pear.

Charlie: I can’t, I just ate it.

Mac: The whole thing?

Charlie: Yeah, it was pretty gross.

Mac: The STEM and then the, and the CORE?!

Charlie: You didn’t tell me not to eat the stem dude!

Mac: Did you eat the STICKERS THAT ARE ALL OVER IT?!

Charlie: Yeah, it was gross.

Mac: OF COURSE IT’S GROSS, IT’S A STICKER BRO!

Charlie: I EAT STICKERS ALL THE TIME DUDE!

Mac: OH MY GOD, this whole thing is a disaster… I… I’m going back to the car…

Dennis: Oh do me a favour….peel this apple for me please.

Dee: Noo, no I’m not gonna peel an apple for you.

Dennis: But Mac always does it for me.

Dee: Why does Mac peel your apples for you?

Dennis: He doesn’t like for me to eat the apples with the skin on it, he says the skins loaded with toxins.

Dee: Well ok good news, Mac’s not here.

Dennis: I know his not here and thats why I need you to do it for me please please.

Dee: Oh chee just eat it with the skin on it.

Dennis:  I DO NOT LIKE IT WITH THE SKIN DEE,  I’M NOT ALLOWED TO EAT IT WITH THE SKIN, I’M NOT ALLOWED.

Dee: OH MY GOSH, ALRIGHT IF YOU JUST SHUTUP I’LL PEEL THE APPLE FOR YOU THE WAY MAC LIKES YOU TO EAT IT, give it to me, GIVE IT TO ME, i’ll do it the way Mac insists, ok?

Dennis: Yeah.

Charlie: Now here put these on.

Dee: No I don’t wanna wear one of your dirty sleeping outfits.

Charlie:  Oh I’m sorry Dee, but my outfits that you like to call em, serve a very specific purpose….alright, this isn’t for fun I don’t have any heating ducts in this apartment, it gets freezing in here at night, alright……now incase you have to pee pee, I got this for you alright…..here, Ahhh.

Dee: OH MY GOD

Charlie: Damnit Frank was suppose to empty that.

Dee: No wonder it reeks in here, you have open cans of PEE everywhere.

Charlie: Well, I’m sorry……YOU DO NOT WANT TO USE THAT BATHROOM. Ok now eat one of these alright……now you wanna huff a little glue and drink some beer.

Dee: This is cat food Charlie.

Charlie: Wel Dee….I can’t explain it alright, its some sort of weird chemical  reaction that happens when you combine cat food, beer and glue, it makes you feel like extremely sick and tired and your able to fall alseep.

Dee: Why would I wanna make myself extremely sick and tired.

Charlie: Cause theres gonna be about 50 cats howling outside that window all night long and you have no idea how loud 50 cats can be.

Dee: Ok maybe there wouldn’t be cats surrounded  your building if you didn’t have open cans of cat food everywhere.

Charlie: I HAVE 50 CATS HOWLING OUTSIDE MY WINDOW BECAUSE I HAVE 10,000 RATS RUNNING AROUND MY BUILDING Dee.

Dee: Ok stop yelling your spitting cat food all over me.

Charlie: I’M NOT AN IDIOT, THERES A REASON TO DO THE THINGS I………OOHHHHH….I don’t feel good.

Cats: Meowwww

Charlie: Time its starting….right on time, if I we’re you i’d start woofing that shit down…..I gotta go to sleep…..ahhhh I’m not feeling good at all.

Frank rushs into the apartment and starts eating a can of cat food and instantly goes to bed next to Charlie, without a word.

Charlie: Oooh shit… Look at the door, dude. You see that door right there? The one marked pirate? You think a pirate lives in there?

Dennis: Now Charlie you do know that says private…….right?

Dennis: Think about it. She’s out in the middle of nowhere with some dude she barely knows. She looks around her, what does she see? Nothing but open ocean. “Oh, there’s nowhere for me to run, what am I gonna do, say no?”

Mac: Okay…that seems really dark though.

Dennis: No, no, it’s not dark. You’re misunderstanding me, bro.

Mac: I think I am.

Dennis:Yeah, you are. ‘Cause if the girl said no, then the answer obviously is no. The thing is that she’s not gonna say no, she’d never say no…because of the implication.

Mac: Now, you said that word “implication” a couple of times. What implication?

Dennis: The implication that things might go wrong for her if she refuses to sleep with me. Now, not that things are gonna go wrong for her, but she’s thinking that they will.

Mac: But it sounds like she doesn’t wanna have sex with you.

Dennis: Why aren’t you understanding this? She doesn’t know whether she wants to have sex with me, that’s not the issue.

Mac: Are you gonna hurt women?

Dennis: I’m not gonna hurt these women, why would I ever hurt these women? I feel like you’re not getting this at all.

Mac: I’m not getting it.

Dennis: Goddamn.